When we’re young, most of us have some elaborate and glamorous pre-conceived notion of what path our life is going to take. Sometimes involving personal aspirations like getting married, or having children, sometimes more focused on professional aspirations like becoming a doctor or lawyer, but inevitably our life plan includes some semblance of what we believe will make us “happy”. Afterall, when we’re teenagers or younger, we don’t really have any idea what will make us happy when we’re grown up; we barely have a clue who will be when we grow up, but this doesn’t stop us from dreaming and imagining where we might end up. And in our lives we constantly meet people and as we learn their life stories discover who they thought they would be when they grew up. A man, who planned to have a wife and kids, who ends up single, working 80 hour weeks to support an elderly mother. A woman who studied music her whole life, only to end up selling small business loans instead. Or perhaps even a boy who dreamt of becoming an astronaut, who ended up as woman, selling flowers in a shop. The point is, we don’t really know where life will take us, and while we have some control over where we end up, so much of it is left to chance, or fate.
Fate, an extremely popular idea in ancient times is quite unpopular in our ego-centric american culture. We don’t like to believe the events of our life are outside the scope of control, but in a way, it is all out of our control, left to the devices of others, to luck, to chance, and yes, maybe even to fate. What we can do is follow the path we’ve been given and make the most of it. The musician, spending her time on the phone pitching merchant loans, has an opportunity to make the best of it. To understand why this is where she ended up, to believe that there are more plans for her in the future, and to follow life through to the fullest, enjoying every curveball that gets thrown. Just because life isn’t as it was imagined from childhood does not mean that life is less significant or we are doomed to be less happy than we had imagined. It just means that life is different, full of surprises and choices for us to make that will determine where life takes us next. Getting on board and enjoying the ride is half the battle, the other half is knowing when to get off and start a new ride. It is the latter part that most people tend to have more trouble with.
Perhaps our musician turned business funding specialist is due for a new outlook on life. Maybe she’s ready for the next step in her life’s evolution but fear holds her back from taking the leap. Are we granted a finite number of opportunities to make changes? Or are we gifted the ability to change our stars anytime we see fit? Perhaps there is merit to both. We may have an opportunity today that we don’t have tomorrow, but if we take the opportunity today, we may never know what tomorrow would have held. This kind of analysis tends to lead to paralysis. Fear of making a decision, fear of being “wrong”. I put quotes around the word because I don’t believe in wrong decisions, at least not generally. We may make mistakes, but the decision is made from a place of trying to understand and move forward in life and that is never wrong. Perhaps our small business loan saleswoman needed the skills she learned in the job in order to appreciate her music, or perhaps she needed to experience a new aspect of the world. Perhaps the only wrong decision is the decision to remain static, settling for what we have, instead of striving for more. So strive for more, but be open to the path life leads us down, it may not be what we expected, but perhaps it’s ok just the same.